Freelancer: I LOL

Forewarning, this will be shady, so be prepared to do this:

I signed up with Freelancer awhile back and therefore receive the daily email of jobs in my selected areas of expertise.  Let’s look at some of these freelance writing ads, shall we?  Note that while I am sniping them, I’m polite enough to share the opportunity with you and others.
Press Release Needed Urgently

Project Budget

$2 – $4 USD / hour

Total Bids


Project Description

I am looking for someone to help me rewrite some press releases. I have done a good job of writing the press release, but some to look at it once more.

Also, your role will be to ensure that the press release gets the most SEO value.

The job is very urgent.

A press release is an important tool for companies because it enables you to distribute news of your product or service across a plethora of networks.  A press release is supposed to be written in a formal business style.  A press release is one of the most important ways to establish your brand and tell the world what kind of business and company you are.  It is a fine balance to write a business press release that looks like a professional Fortune 500 release that also uses SEO keywords.  Hiring someone for $4 for 500 words basically will give you a $4 press release and tell the world: Hey, I’m Cheap and So Are My Products.

I know that sounds harsh, but it is the truth.  I used to be a manager of an SEO writing company and spoke often with the people at PR Web (great people) and they were so completely over having to help people rewrite their stuff so it wouldn’t come off like garbage.  They used to compliment me all the time on turning in products they didn’t have to tweak.

I’m about to go Oprah up in this mess but you have to act like the company, writer, artist you dream of being–even when you’re broke.  If you cannot afford to hire a good writer who will charge $20-50 for a 500-700 word press release then don’t bother.  Write your press release yourself.  Take the time that your business deserves and put all your guts and determination into writing that press release rather than send out a $4 hot mess written by someone who is using Google Translate.

I will write a press release for $5 on Fiverr, but I give myself plenty of time (not URGENT) and only write 350 words of it–if they want a good release the client will pay for it.  Writing a press release that will help establish and brand a business, as well as, drive traffic requires research, supporting information, etc.  This is not something you can throw together in ten minutes and honestly shouldn’t be less than 600 words.  A good press release will always be around 800 to 1,000 words.

Another Freelancer Ad I just noticed today was one for $25 fixed price, for 10,000 words.  They want 5 articles of 2,000 words each.

That is $5 per 2,000 words.

Prostitution pays better and allows you much more dignity than that of someone who will sell a 2,000 word article for $5.

I understand all that Adam Smith stuff about invisible hands, markets and all that jazz, but at a certain point you have to review the almost predatory relationship that some of these buyers have with their freelancer.  They know these people live in miserable conditions and are absolutely desperate and still enable/allow/provide a means for them to continue to subsist on crumbs rather than appreciate their humanity and pay them a decent living.

I realize that this blog post will gain me no new clients, make Freelancer come for me, and also paint me as the Violet Chachki of WordPress for spilling the tea on Freelancer, press releases, and ghost writing, but…I think I can live with that.


One thought on “Freelancer: I LOL

  1. Freelancer is not for people living in the US. The competition versus the pricing of gigs makes it pretty much impossible to earn even part-time level of pay there. People find that out pretty quickly, but not until they are burnt out, spent way too much money taking tests that no one cares about, marketing themselves etc. Just not worth it.


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