As you know I will often blog on good customers that I work with, as well as, the people that come to me acting the fool. Last night pretty much brought the house down, boots! This kid was so pushy, so out of his mind that he deserves the Prince side-eye.
Late last night (or late to normal folk) this kid writes begging me to write an additional page of his 3 page research paper. I say let me see the paper because I’m about to crash. The first two pages were absolute garbage. He had only 2 footnotes (in a research paper) and an opening paragraph that did not let me know what the paper was about. I would have had to rewrite the whole thing. I told him this and he said, “Yes, exactly!”
Protip #1: When dealing with clients, understand that a lot of them either lie or underestimate the amount of work you need to do, so always make sure you look at the job before estimating your own LOE.
So I explain that I would be writing the culmination of his semester’s learning between the hours of 12 and 2 so I would have to charge $80 (which I felt was cheap and really being kind all things considered). He says it’s fine with that price because he’s falling asleep and can’t write his paper…that he’s had all semester to do.
Now, mind you he’s lighting up my box with: I’m so tired, answer me now!!! I need to find out so I can go to sleep!!! He’s ten years younger than me and a male, but whatever. The story continues….
I send him the custom order offer and prepare to make an espresso so I can get this bitch done, and he comes back with:
I’m fine with the price but I’ll have to pay you on Friday. Thanks for writing it.
I wrote him back the following:
I am not a charity. You are not my friend. I am not writing your paper for free in the hopes that some stranger decides days later to pay me.
Get some coffee, go for a walk outside to wake up and write your paper.
You can do it!!! I believe in you. Now, goodnight.
The same sort of person who would ask you to do free work for him is also the same sort of person who won’t pay you later.
Protip: Never trust a college student to pay you money for a job later.
This type of nerve also deserves a now overused phrase: