I Hate Celebitchy’s Kaiser Part 3,000 and Why Kit Harrington Should TP Kaiser’s House

For those just tuning into my website, Kaiser of the celebrity Gossip site “Celebitchy” has decided to make “Kit Says Words” a new column of hers, as if that’s so completely clever!

DERP—my life consists of eating dry Ramen noodles dipped in Nutella while watching Girls on marathon and grooming my four cats!  I need to make fun of someone so my life seems less patheticI know, I’ll pick the one celebrity whose only Pap photos usually consist of him on the street talking to overweight chicks just like me!

Kaiser is that type of smug faux-progressive female that still lives in the late 1990’s riot gurrl world where voting “Democrat” means you’re “cool” and thinking for yourself consists of agreeing with everything Rachel Maddow or Melissa Harris Perry has to say.  She’s so cool she thinks Hillary Clinton is cool.  That’s how cool, Kaiser is.  I mean, this chick actually spends her time covering the Obamas–as if people don’t go to a celebrity site to escape politics, naw, this bitch has to feed it to you with your dose of bad gossip.

Yes, Celebitchy is where self-indulgent progressives go to chat about Celebrities and everyone in the world who disagrees with the Democratic platform. Jill Stein and Ralph Nader  would be considered Tea Party Republicans by this mob.

If you disagree with Obama using drones on children, you’re a Republican, homophobic, bigot.  Not kidding.  Not at all kidding.

If you think that gays should have the right to marry because government shouldn’t be in the marriage business or telling people who, how, or when to get married–you’re still a Republican, homophobic bigot  because government SHOULD tell people who they should marry…or something.

If you think that abortion is another issue that the government should stay out of altogether and not make laws telling people what to do with their body or tell doctors what they have to do to other people’s bodies, you are still anti-choice because the correct answer is whatever Planned Parenthood says–don’t think for yourself, think for yourself and vote Democrat!

This is the culture over at Celebitchy.  It’s like Lena Dunham spawned herself a million times just to have fans.

If you do a search on her you will see that the bans the fuck out of anyone who disagrees with her, which is hilarious for a “free thinker” like herself who hates intolerant people.

<Insert Shakespearean Aside Here>I’ve noticed with progressives, especially female progressives, that they love to call everyone intolerant.  I tried for awhile to understand what they were talking about and eventually just came to the conclusion that “intolerant” is just a code word for “someone who disagrees with me”. <End Shakespearean Aside>

Here is what I believe as a “feminist”, and I realize this will blow some people’s minds that I still consider myself a feminist even though I don’t wear Tshirts that say so or create Vlogs where I tell people who much I want to fuck Barak Obama, but…

I believe that women have the right to choose to stay home with their kids and not be judged for it, or have a career and not be judged for it.

I believe that women can say that women have the right to stay home with their kids and still be a feminist because feminism doesn’t have a fucking litmus test.

I believe that women can say that motherhood is the highest and more respectable career of them all and be a feminist.

I also believe that women who are fearful of that type of comment are not feminists.  That’s right, you’re not.

I believe that women can be progressives, conservatives, independents, libertarians, or anarchists and still be a feminist–in fact, if you have a vagina you are a defacto “feminist” because the truth is we all are self-protecting and self-promoting.  Feminism is women giving power to themselves.

If you love yourself and are making an active choice to live your life by your own wishes and desires, you are a feminist.  Fuck Gloria “I worked for the CIA to spy on counter-culture groups in the 60’s” Steinem–don’t let anyone tell you who you are or what you are.  You are a free-thinking individual–define your fucking self!

And lastly I believe all feminists should think that Kit Harrington is hot…because, have you seen him?

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2 thoughts on “I Hate Celebitchy’s Kaiser Part 3,000 and Why Kit Harrington Should TP Kaiser’s House

  1. Omg, so Kaiser is a woman,a she and she doesn’t like Kit??!! What’s the percentage of frustration in her body?

    Like

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