Stacy Dash, Celebitchy, and How I Seriously Voted For Obama in ’08

I am a classical liberal.

I’ll let the sink in.

Jefferson, Locke, Paine, and Voltaire were all classical liberals.  True liberals believe in the right of individuals to live their lives with liberty (the peaceful subset of ‘freedom’).

That means that I believe that individuals have the right to:

  • Stand in front of friends and family and declare their life-long commitment to someone of the same sex or someone of the opposite sex, aka “get married:
  • Eat mushrooms and go for a little trip
  • Drink raw milk
  • Open a business and serve who you want, when you want, or tell people to get the fuck out for whatever reason, including you don’t like the cut of their jib
  • Eschew vaccinations
  • Get vaccinations
  • Exchange in free and open trade, be that for services or products, unhindered by the prying eyes and greedy fingers of others–yes, that means selling pot, selling your body, etc—it also means not losing 36% of the profit to the government–as long as it is voluntary trade and it’s your labor…you should be able to do it.
  • Not be forced to use the hyper-inflated currency of others

Now because people are so inundated with binary labeling, I’ll shock people by saying even though I believe in free trade, I still supported Occupy Wall St in the beginning because corporatism, collusion with governments, etc is robbery and forces people into slavery and servitude.    If the mob came for the execs of Barclays, Monsanto, or Goldman’s I’d be the first person to buy tickets to the event.

Now that I’ve gotten all that out of the way, on to Stacy Dash and Celebitchy’s usual harpy-ing on every person, but especially females, who don’t want to ride Obama’s dick.

Apparently, she is a “conservative troll” –that means she’s a female that doesn’t automatically Sieg Heil to the following:

  • Late term abortions
  • Applauding when women make money by pretending to be a slut
  • Agreeing with Obama on everything
  • Hating on Christians while claiming we should be tolerant of the beliefs of others

It is sometimes difficult for binary people to accept that there is moral and philosophical ambiguity and that it is “OK” to see every issue as something with enough complexity to not have a kneejerk opinion on it.

For example, you can support your transgender friend, love them, and want to punch someone who makes fun of them, while at the same time being like…”Sweetie, I honestly don’t understand what you’re going through and I’m not sure about this whole gender thing yet.”

That’s an ambiguous statement that is honest and true.  When research scientists who spend their every day studying neurology say “we don’t understand yet” how can you know what it’s all about when they don’t?

We are all on a journey, we’re not at a destination.  We may change our minds a thousand times so it is okay to sometimes be ambivalent about something.

So Kaiser, in the spirit of the type of “sisterhood” you espouse, where you are a feminist but adopt misogynistic lingo and rip apart women who don’t think like you,

Stop being such a dumb cunt.

Wow.  That was liberating.  I never use that word because I think it’s misogynistic.  I can see why progressive women are embracing it now.

Anyway, this bitch decides to make fun of troll Stacy because–the nerve!–she tweeted this:

I am not ANTI-WOMAN! I just don’t believe that my gender needs a bunch of men in Congress to ‘save us’ from the big bad world.

The 77 cents vs a dollar is based on B.S. statistics. STOP USING IT. CELEBRATE that EDUCATED women in their 20’s now make more than men!

I DON’T CARE IF I AM THE LONE VOICE IN THE WOODS, I WILL NOT LET THE GOVERNMENT MAKE WOMEN AN ENTITLEMENT CLASS. #HOLDINGTHELINE.”

Because….why?  Because she doesn’t want to be a victim?  Oh gaddamit! How turrible, turrible.  Being a victim without a cash payment is like being a celebrity only in your own mind.

Look, you’re in the street injured and cars are coming.  Do you lay there and complain and hope someone helps, or you do you hang on to those evolutionary survival instincts which made man the top of the food chain and drag your ass to the curb to avoid being killed?

Now, I’m going to say something controversial–no, like really controversial.

I support the Baltimore rioters.

Sure they’re burning their own house down, but that’s also their right.  They aren’t lying in the road anymore waiting on politicians to reform the law and give the state less power to control their lives.  They aren’t waiting for more speeches and platitudes.  They are throwing tea in the harbor.  They are firing on British troops.  They are fighting back against a system which is stacked completely against them and not waiting on white, middle class America to give a shit.

Because we won’t.

Oh, some will pretend they will and slap a bumpersticker on their car or discuss it on their blog or with their friends, but in general we will go about our day and wait on a politician to reduce the power of government and “fix it”.

Because government is in the business of fixing things.

It outlawed drugs and now no one takes them.

It created a welfare system and now no one is poor.

It regulated the environment and now there are no oil spills or fracking disasters.

Go government!

Where was I?  Yeh, can you believe I used to believe that bullshit and actually voted for Obama????

Hahahaha.  What an idiot I was…Get this–I actually thought he would repeal the Patriot Act like he said and close Gitmo.  Yeh, I was dumb…

So anyway, let’s all chant now: Stacy Dash-BAD-Lena Dunham-GOOD.

Oh, Kaiser…

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