Once again that dumb cow over at Celebitchy has to make fun of Kit as if she could do better when interviewed or even has a life outside of blogging. Michael K is the king wit of celebrity blogging, unrepentantly awful and unlike Kaiser, funny. He has certainly made fun of Kit in the past, but again…funny. When an intelligent, original and takes no prisoners blogger like Michael K shades you it’s an honor. When a cheap Michael K ripoff like Kaiser does it, she just sounds like she’s trying too hard and it’s annoying.
Here’s how Kaiser “shades” (as I follow all Fair Use conventions)
He’s big on casual self-pity, like when he says he’s being “driven insane” by people asking about his hair. Anyway, it’s time for a new episode of “Celebitchy Presents: Kit Harington Says Words.” Sub-head: “Bless his baby heart.”
The thing is you can tell she thinks she’s brilliant. It would be funny if it weren’t so annoying.
Here is how the master at Dlisted shades someone:
If you’re looking at that wreck and thinking to yourself, “Is the theme ‘Flames, Flames, FLAMES, On The Side Of My Face,” you’re wrong. I wish you were right, but you’re wrong. The theme is China: Through The Looking Glass. Bitch got the “China” part right and she got the “Through The Looking Glass” part right too, because she definitely looked right through the looking glass instead of at it.
I first saw SJP’s terrifying Heat Miser as a Final Fantasy villain headdress thing in a video on Vogue’s Twitter and I’m not going to embed it here, because I care about you too much (“Says the evil whore who is always posting about the Kuntrashians” – you) and it’s the reason why I will sleep with a crucifix in my hands tonight. That video is like a scene from Dragon Ball Z: The Horror Movie.
SJP looks like the movie Big Trouble In Little China got creampied in the ass by an Oriental Trading Company catalog before wet farting on her.
You know, this is a mess, but at least SJP tried. 90% of the hos I’ve seen so far look like they said “fuck you” to the theme and got their outfits from Rent-A-Prom-Dress.com
Now, I have read Dlisted before there ever was a Kaiser, certainly before that trick started ripping his naming conventions for celebrities and appropriating his style.
If this were the rap world Michael K would be Eminem and Kaiser is (wants to be Hopsin but ends up being more like) Vanilla Ice.
Michael K started with the nicknames, she starts with the nicknames.
It’s not just me, others feel this same way about her. Someone started a blog post about this and it’s still going 4 years later which comments like this:
Another thing Kaiser does is, create all these tiresome and offensive nicknames, and use them constantly and sickenly, to the point where the mileage on the name runs out. “Prince Crumpets, Sparkles, FassDONG, The Cracken (Lindsay Lohan), etc.She could use the word ‘Cracken’ 10 times in just one paragraph. It gets to the point where it’s no longer funny, but I guess she’s still the only one laughing.
Oh and this one:
Kay Hali, I think she’s trying to be like Michael K with all that Cracken and Crumpet talk. Dong has to be the grossest word, and she says it over and over. But don’t forget biscuit, possibly even worse.
Don’t even get me started on that stupid ‘Hot Guy Friday’ thing they used to run. People would salivate all over the pictures and post suggestions, like they’d never heard of Google Images!
That and deleting the comments that don’t echo your own opinion is why I’ve actually stopped going there now.
Side note: You can read Michel K to filth on his own website. Disagree with Kaiser and you’re IP banned. Yeh, she’s gangsta, she’s gangsta…
On another I Hate Celebitchy rant:
I stopped going to that site, the MINUTE they hired Kaiser as a writer. She is hateful, and she is not a good writer.
There are pages of this stuff, pages.
So to Kaiser, wherever you are out there, as you’re cleaning your 5th cat box of the day and thinking about that box wine you’ll be having with your reheated frozen vegan meal, just know that somewhere out there Kit Harrington is putting $500 product on his hair as he’s thinking about where he’ll go spend all his Game of Thrones money and which model he’ll bang tonight.
Bless his heart? Bitch, please. That dude doesn’t need your pity. He’s rich, bitch. Now go clean that litter box as Kit laughs at you.